Looking at the time spent by men and women in Japan and Tokyo, men spend less time on housework and childcare, while women spend much longer time on housework and childcare.
In order for both men and women to be able to use the 24 hours in a day equally according to their own wishes, it is necessary to change the mindset of not only the couples concerned but also society as a whole to narrow the gap between men and women in terms of time for housework and childcare.

　In this article, focusing on mindset change among married couples, we interviewed Mr. Junya Tsutsui, a professor at Ritsumeikan University’s Department of Industrial Sociology and a researcher of Japanese family sociology, about the importance of communication and the attitudes of married couples necessary for men who have had few opportunities to participate in housework and childcare to step up their involvement in housework and childcare. We interviewed Mr. Junya Tsutsui, a researcher of Japanese family sociology.

Changing the mindset of men who are not good at housework – Replacing housework with work.

　In the Corona Disaster, the increase in men’s time at home has increased the chances for men to be involved in housework and childcare themselves.
However, the accompanying increase in time spent participating in housework and childcare has not been as great as expected, and it cannot be said that the burden of housework and childcare on women is decreasing.

　Men who have not been responsible for household chores in the past often do not know where to start when they finally have the time to tackle them.
At times like this, thinking of housework as work can help men change their minds about housework.

　In your first year in the workforce, you don’t know how to do your job, so you don’t have to do it. Probably in your first stage of employment, you probably started your work by asking for instructions from your supervisor and gradually increased what you could do.

　If we translate this into housework, the partner who has been carrying the burden of the household is, in essence, the boss.
What can I, as a newcomer, do to help you with your household chores?” The first step would be to start with communication that

Wife’s mindset change – Patience is necessary for husband’s growth

　In terms of replacing housework with work, it is also important to change the mindset of the boss = wife.
No newcomer can see the whole picture of the job and do it perfectly from the start.
Supervisors are obligated to patiently watch the newcomer’s growth and eventually develop the ability to make appropriate decisions and perform tasks on their own.

　As for housework, no one can do it all from the start.
I know that there are times when you think it would be more efficient if you did it yourself, but sometimes you need to be patient and watch your husband grow up in order to raise his level of housework, get him to be able to operate the household on his own, and become a couple who can share housework and childcare on the same level.

The goal is to reduce the burden on the partner.

　I would like to caution men who are considering participating in household chores not to make decisions on their own in the beginning.

　It is often the case that newcomers who do not grasp the whole picture of the job end up making decisions and taking actions on their own, and as a result, rather cause trouble for those around them.
Let’s replace housework here, too.

　Household chores, like work, must be planned with an overall perspective. Take cooking, for example. The family’s schedule must be grasped, the weekly menu must be planned, the ingredients must be purchased accordingly, and the shopping and cooking must be done while considering the expiration dates of the ingredients.
Suppose my wife had made these plans.
What happens if the husband buys more ingredients without knowing what is in the refrigerator, or cooks with ingredients in the refrigerator without thinking about it, without knowing the wife’s plan? The wife may end up with a surplus of food, or she may have to repurchase ingredients, which increases her workload.

　A husband’s well-meaning actions may inadvertently increase his wife’s burden.
Men who have not shared household chores on a regular basis should understand this.

　And try to “discuss” what you can do now among the household chores that are needed in the home to avoid this situation.
After communicating with the couple, doing what the husband can do at that point in time will certainly help reduce the wife’s burden.

　By clarifying goals at work, we can see what each individual needs to do.
Men who have not shared household chores in the past may want to set their first goal of participation in household chores as “reducing their partner’s burden.

Make communication a habit; understand differences in values

　Newlyweds, those who are getting married, and those who are thinking of getting married and starting a family in the future would do well to make “talking and facing each other on their knees” a habit from the early stages of marriage, preferably during the preparation period before marriage.

　The amount of housework changes as phases change, such as before marriage, during early marriage, during pregnancy, and during the child’s childhood.

　If communication between husband and wife becomes a habit, when phases in the household change, the optimal division of household chores can be made according to the couple’s working style and housework skills at that point in time.

　Especially after the birth of a child, the burden of childcare is added to housework. Men should aim to become “managers and players” who can handle the housework as a one-person operation during the first 10 months of their wife’s pregnancy, at the latest. This will make the subsequent child-rearing period easier for both husband and wife.

　Another thing that is very important is to confirm before marriage the values of housework between the partners. For example, couples with different “values for cleanliness” will have different requirements for “cleaning. Neither of the values is right, but if both parties make claims based solely on their own values without understanding the other’s values, communication between spouses will not work.

　The major difference between work and home is that at home, there is no one to mediate between you and your partner when a dispute arises. In order for couples to resolve disputes, it is important to understand the values of the other person who has different standards from their own and to respect each other.

　For this reason, we feel it is necessary to communicate well during the preparation period and reconcile our values. It would be good if we can understand the differences in values beforehand and create a mutually acceptable relationship.

Aim for a reasonable division of housework and childcare without seeking perfection.

　Finally, I feel that the level of Japanese women’s housework is as high quality as that of a hotel.
They are also very attentive with regard to child rearing.
However, it is now common for married couples to work together, and the amount of time they can spend on housework and childcare for each other is limited.

　For meals, there is a wide variety of frozen foods available these days.
Another option is the use of housekeeping services.
Please do not expect perfection in housework, but value the creation of a home environment where both parties can relax and not overwork each other.
We hope that men’s participation in housework and childcare will become the norm, and that the division of housework and childcare between husband and wife will become more appropriate for the current era.