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Parenting cartoon, “How do you divide up the housework?”
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Eiichi
After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who creates animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.
Has progress been made in men’s participation in housework and childcare? Analysis of Tokyo Metropolitan Government survey results!
How can we promote men’s participation in housework and childcare? Are there any challenges?
Toshiyuki Tanaka, associate professor at Taisho University’s Faculty of Psychology and Sociology and a specialist in men’s studies, and Manabu Tsukagoshi, director of the NPO Fathering Japan and chief consultant at Toray Management Research Institute, analyzed the results of a survey conducted by the Tokyo Metropolitan Government on the status of male participation in housework and childcare. They pointed out points of concern.
Toshiyuki Tanaka (left) and Manabu Tsukakoshi
[Survey Methodology
The survey was conducted via the Internet from August 23 to 29, 2019, among 5,000 men and women (2,000 of whom were men and women with preschool children) between the ages of 18 and 70 living in Tokyo.
90% of respondents selected “my wife is in charge of almost all” or “my wife is in charge of somewhat or all” of the household chores.
First, let’s look at how men and women with preschool children divide the household chores. Housework while raising small children can be a difficult task, but the results show that “my wife does almost all of the housework” and “my wife does a lot of the housework, but my husband also does some of the housework” account for a combined 90% of the women’s responses.
Tsukagoshi: Although there are some differences between men and women, we can see that women are generally responsible for housework in most cases. I have looked at various data in the past, but they all show the same trend, so I feel that this is the real situation.
Tanaka: I think this is changing, but given that men earn more and work longer hours, housework tends to be biased in favor of wives. This is a very noticeable result.
Not discussing the division of household chores.
Why is it that in many cases, wives are in charge? When we asked those who responded earlier that “wives do almost all the work,” the most common reason given was “because husbands are busy with work,” for both men and women. On the other hand, only 6.3% of men and 0.7% of women answered “Because we discussed and decided on the division of responsibilities.
Tsukagoshi: It is worrisome that not only are there only a small number of respondents who answered “Because we discussed and decided on the division of responsibilities,” but also that the percentage of respondents who answered “Not particularly decided, but somehow” is high. Furthermore, the percentage of “Not decided, but somehow” is generally high for all other sharing situations except for “My wife is responsible for almost all of the work. When asked to choose “Wives do most of the housework, but husbands do some of it,” 33.2% of men and 32.7% of women selected “Husbands and wives share the work equally,” 35.8% of men and 43.8% of women selected “Husbands and wives share the work equally. In other words, the current situation shows that the division of household chores is somehow decided without discussion.
Tanaka: If we proceed without discussing things with each other, there is a tendency for misunderstandings to occur. In many cases, dissatisfaction may arise later, even if the situation is good at the time. That is why I think it is necessary to have proper discussions and find a mutually satisfactory form.
Tsukagoshi On the other hand, the percentage of respondents who answered that their husbands have low housework skills is not only high among women but also among men. This means that husbands themselves are aware of their low housework skills. This is an area where there is simply room for improvement. What if we look for or create opportunities to improve our skills?
Tanaka I think you are right. One more thing. The percentage of men and women who cited “Influence of the family environment in which the husband was raised and his parents’ way of thinking” as a reason for thinking that “the wife is responsible for almost everything” is very different (5.6% for men and 20.6% for women). Women feel that their husbands’ upbringing had a big influence, but men do not think that is the reason. There is a gap in perception.
Tsukagoshi: Yes, if the gap is left unaddressed, the husband will not realize his wife’s evaluation of him. I think this is one of the reasons why the sharing situation is not improving, and I feel it is necessary for couples to discuss this issue.
Husbands who think they are doing it wrong
In terms of the perception gap, there is a question about whether or not they do their own household chores, and the perception differs between men and women. The gap is particularly large for shopping. While 57.0% of men perceive it as a chore that is shared by the couple, 76.1% of women perceive it as a chore that is mainly done by them. There is a big gap, isn’t there? Why do these gaps arise?
Tsukagoshi: The husband may recognize that he is “doing it” just by accompanying his wife shopping on the weekend. However, from the wife’s point of view, who does the shopping every day, the weekend is only a small part of it. They may recognize that they have not shared the household chore of shopping. At seminars, I sometimes ask couples to answer a questionnaire in front of me, and husbands tend to answer that they are doing it.
Tanaka It is difficult to move toward improvement if we recognize that we have done something when in fact we have not. I think discussions are still necessary to bridge this gap.
Do you agree that the sharing situation is biased?
When asked how they feel about the current situation in which housework is done by wives, more than half of both men and women answered “I think it is appropriate” and “I don’t know if it is appropriate, but I don’t mind if it stays the same.
Tsukagoshi: That’s right. I often ask this question at seminars and other events, and there are many voices affirming the status quo. I think this is the reason why they don’t discuss.
Tanaka: Social psychology findings suggest that people tend to accept the status quo, whether it is good or bad. So they do not seek change. I think that is exactly where this tendency is coming from. However, there are many people who are calling for change, saying that husbands should take on more of the responsibility, so I think it would be a good idea to take a step forward and discuss this.
In the case of “Husband and wife share household chores equally,” 70.7% of the respondents answered “I think it is appropriate. In the case where “the wife is responsible for almost all the work,” the number of respondents who said “the husband should be responsible for more of the work” increased, while those who said “I think it is appropriate” and “I don’t know if it is appropriate, but it is fine the way it is” decreased.
Tanaka I like that you share equally and are satisfied that it is appropriate.
Childcare is shared by a higher percentage of men
We have looked at the division of household chores, now let’s look at the division of child care. Compared to housework, it seems that a higher percentage of men are responsible for childcare.
Tanaka That’s right. As I have experienced, in the case of housework, if someone with limited skills and unfamiliarity tries to do it, it may end up adding to the workload, but in the case of childcare, the more hands you have, the more you can share. In that sense, it may be easier to participate.
Tsukagoshi: There tends to be less of a gap in the “husband and wife share the work equally” responses.
Husbands who share equally like to raise their children.
Regarding the reason for the equal sharing of childcare between husbands and wives, many respondents said, “It’s not a particular decision, but somehow,” but more men and women said, “Because my husband likes and wants to do childcare.
Tsukagoshi: I think it is not that men are not at all interested in either housework or childcare. But in terms of housework, their actions are still lacking, so their wives do not get the message. When it comes to childcare, their actions are easy to understand, and they can visibly feel that they like to do it, so I think their wives approve of it.
Tanaka I think this is also because we share the work equally. I think it is important to participate in the process. However, I think that if we also have discussions, we can better convey our interests and concerns.
Men should refer to examples of families where men are actively participating in childcare.
When asked what they thought about the current status of this division of labor, while both men and women said that “husbands should take on more of the responsibility,” more than half said “I think it is appropriate” or “I don’t know if it is appropriate, but I am fine with the way it is. Again, there are many people who do not want change.
Tsukagoshi: However, when we look at the reasons for those who think that “husbands should take on more of the responsibility for childcare,” or in other words, want to change the way they raise their children, 3.7% of men say “because I feel that the burden on wives is greater than that of friends and acquaintances,” while 19.3% of women say the same. There is clearly a gap. It is likely that women are familiar with examples of other families in which men actively participate in child-rearing. Men could look a little more closely at other families where men are actively involved in child care.
Tanaka In many cases, men still lead work-centered lives, so they probably do not have much opportunity to learn about other families. Also, men tend to evaluate themselves in comparison to their own fathers. They are convinced that they are doing enough because they are doing more than their fathers. Even though from a woman’s point of view, they are still inadequate.
The survey was an opportunity for the couple to have a conversation.
Finally, do you have any advice for us in light of these current conditions?
Tanaka We find that there are various gaps in perception between married couples. It is important to know this first, and to do so, it is necessary for couples to talk about it. Why don’t they think about what is important in their own families and what they can do?
Tsukagoshi: I think there are a surprisingly large number of couples who do not know how to discuss things. In such cases, it is a good idea for couples to answer the questions in this survey together. They can answer the questions together, or they can answer them separately and compare their answers later. It will be a natural discussion.
The data presented here are excerpts from the Tokyo Metropolitan Government’s “Survey of Men’s Participation in Housework and Childrearing” report. Please click here to view the full report and the summary version of this survey.
