Table of Contents
- Serialization! Eiichi manga “Papa and Son Blues” I am currently raising a 5 year old son!
- [Data section] The numbers tell us there’s a reason why Tokyo dads have to work harder!
Serialization! Eiichi manga “Papa and Son Blues” I am currently raising a 5 year old son!
It made me cry, it made me laugh, it surprised me.
We will be serializing a parenting manga that depicts daily life with his son Eiji.
Profile
Eiichi
After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who creates animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.
[Data section] The numbers tell us there’s a reason why Tokyo dads have to work harder!
The best time to raise a child is shorter than you think. Have you ever heard such a story from senior fathers?
The next day, you’re at work and your child is crying at night and you’re having a hard time sleeping, or you’re just eating dinner and the table and floor are a mess. …… When you’re raising a child, you may be covered in soppy tears and food, and you may think, “Oh my God!” You may think, “Oh my God!
Nevertheless, in the time that both parents and children face each other desperately, there are many important and happy scenes that we do not want to forget. This experience of happiness is a privilege reserved for moms and dads.
This is one of the reasons why fathers’ understanding and awareness of housework and childcare has been increasing recently. The Basic Survey of Social Life of the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications and other surveys show that the time spent on housework and childcare is steadily increasing. In particular, fathers in Tokyo are doing their best!
However, compared to mothers, fathers still spend only a quarter of their time on housework and childcare. This is far behind fathers in developed countries overseas. It seems that this is still not enough. Let’s take a look at why it is necessary for fathers to participate in housework and childcare, based on data from a survey of men’s housework and childcare.
Reo Tsuchiya, the Dad of the Month representative, also commented.
Read survey data on men’s participation in housework and childcare
Looking at a couple’s daily housekeeping and childcare time…
Tokyo boys outperform national average, but
Still left with empty water for Mom.
In Japan, too, an increasing number of people, especially young men, believe that it is natural for men to do housework and childcare as well. What is the reality?
The Basic Survey of Social Life of the Ministry of Internal Affairs and Communications provides data visualizing how much men spend on housework and childcare, comparing “housework and childcare-related time of husbands and wives” in families with children under 6 years old. On average, fathers spend 1 hour and 23 minutes per day on housework and childcare in Japan, and 2 hours and 1 minute in Tokyo alone, which is higher than the national average. However, the reality is that the gap is still wide, with wives spending 7 hours and 34 minutes on housework and childcare in Japan and 7 hours and 5 minutes in Tokyo.
But compared to overseas…
Time for Housework and Childcare in Developed Countries
Japan, where the gap between men and women in housework is much larger.
An international comparison of the amount of time men spend on housework and childcare shows that Japan spends only one-third as much time as the Scandinavian countries of Sweden and Norway, and half as much as the United Kingdom and France, a strikingly low figure. On the other hand, women’s burden of housework and childcare is outstanding, and considering the uneven distribution of housework and childcare between married couples, this must be improved as soon as possible.
Compared to Scandinavia and other countries, I feel that men’s housework skills are lacking. I think we need to find ways to make housework more interesting and efficient, just like at work.
What do moms think about dads’ housework and childcare…
I want to change the current situation of being a one-operator childcare!
The situation in which one person is solely responsible for childcare and housework at home is recently referred to as “one-operator childcare. In response to the question, “Do you think you yourself are in a ‘one-operator’ situation in terms of child-rearing housework?”, 64.4% of mothers answered, “I think I am in a ‘one-operator’ situation (taking on housework and child-rearing alone)” or “I think I am almost a one-operator”. (conducted by Nikkei BP in June 2009). The reality that nearly 90% want to change the current situation is highlighted (Data 5). We would like to communicate with them and try to eliminate the one-way work.
If both parties take on the responsibility for the housework, rather than creating strict roles, such as “you do the housework and I do the work,” it would be much easier to feel comfortable with each other.
‘What a ……. Many wives have given up, saying, ‘I want to change the status quo, but I don’t think it will change. If men don’t change their minds, their wives and children will lose their smiles.”
Communication between husband and wife is important.
Communication.
It’s good for both spouses.
’There is a survey on marital communication and parenting stress.’ (Conducted by Pixa in September, 2009). The question asked, “Do you ever feel childrearing stress?” 87.1% of wives and 72.1% of husbands responded that they have childcare stress, with 35.1% of wives in particular saying that they have it frequently (17.6% of husbands) (Data 6). It appears that wives are more often stressed about childcare than husbands.
When asked what kind of response they would like their husbands to give them when they feel stressed, wives responded “sympathy (67.0%)” significantly more often than their husbands (Data 7). Empathy, approval, and other reassurances of acceptance may reduce stress, including childcare. In general, men tend to seek logic and problem-solving in conversation, but we should try to be more attuned to each other’s partner’s feelings. The key to reducing stress and achieving an amicable marriage is to recognize each other. The secret lies in mutual recognition and intimate communication.
I think wives feel a lot of stress, including childcare. I think it would be good for both of us if we communicate with each other as husbands.”
A change of mindset makes housework and childcare more interesting.
I think that sharing housework and childcare with my wife is like having a pension. This is something I have come to understand recently. What you accumulate steadily will come back to you later like a pension. How much we do now to take care of the household and how much we appreciate each other will lead to a trusting relationship when the children leave the nest and we return to our lives together again.
I have a six-year-old son, and for the first two years of his life, I didn’t know what to do, and my wife was always getting angry at me and telling me what to do. I thought, “I’m doing my best, but I’m being unreasonable,” but thanks to my wife pointing out many things that were wrong with me, I was able to accumulate data on what wives want their husbands to do.
And even though the responsibility for children is split 50-50 between husband and wife, I also found that in today’s Japan, the burden is greater on women than on men, no matter what. At that point, I became aware that “I’m doing childcare too! is not valid. How much can we lighten the burden on wives who are raising children, and how can we act ahead of time to do so? I am still thinking about this every day, and updating my work.
However, I used to look at men who rushed home for their families with annoyance and say, “What the hell do you think you’re doing? I used to look at them with irritation. But after the birth of my son, my priorities changed.
Parents have the responsibility to take care of their children until they are ready to send them out into the world, which is a different dimension from what I want to do or dream about. There are plenty of people who can take my place at work, but I am the only father of my son and the only husband of my wife in the world. As a family man, I am the “work” that cannot be replaced. Once I realized this, “live for my family” became my top priority in life.
In our house, we dare not decide on the division of housework and childcare, and I live my life with the intention of doing as much as I can, except for what only my wife can do. Before I know it, the dishes have been washed and the garbage has been put together. When I come to the living room after taking a bath, I find that my son’s hair has been dried with a hair dryer and he has even brushed his teeth. When my wife is surprised, her experience is increased by 50 points. Isn’t it fun to play the game like that?
If you feel like you have to, it will be stressful, but anything can become interesting with a change of mindset. The key is whether or not you can turn your responsibility into your own joy. My ideal future is to travel around the world on a luxury cruise ship as a married couple in good harmony. Doing housework and childcare will lead to relaxation and happiness in the future. In the end, it is also for me.
We make it a point to talk a lot. We usually meet once a week for an hour or two after putting our son to bed at night. We talk about how fun it is to be a married couple, and how we can make the most of our time together to improve our relationship.
If we are so busy that we hardly talk to each other, it becomes a matter of “do that” and business communication. It is important to bring this into the direction of mutual empathy. It is also important to say “thank you” or “this is delicious” even if it is a lie. There is no need to feel guilty because you are doing this to continue to be a presence that makes the other person happy. In any case, keep praising them without being shy. This alone will make you super happy in your old age.
For fathers who come home late from work every day and only see their children sleeping, I think it is good to start by finding out what you can do to the best of your ability. It is important to look for something you can do to help your wife, and I am sure that your partner will sense this.
I want many people to feel that when husbands enjoy housework and childcare, it brings smiles to their families! I want many people to feel that when husbands enjoy housework and childcare, their families smile. But looking at the detailed figures, it seems that husbands are not doing enough to share the work. That means there is still room for growth.”