Table of Contents

• Parenting cartoon “Papa Tomodachi de Mamoru de Mamoru?”
• Share the joys and worries of childcare! Let’s make a dad friend!

Parenting cartoon “Papa Tomodachi de Mamoru de Mamoru?”

Profile
Eiichi
After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who creates animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.

Share the joys and worries of childcare! Let’s make a dad friend!

Diverse values spreading through papa-friends!

　 Mr. Joji Sugiyama, who has interviewed many papa communities and is also the editor-in-chief of PapaComi, an information website for fathers, gave us some advice on making papa friends.

Is it difficult to make papa friends?

　Even after entering the workforce, those who continue to play team sports such as soccer or have other hobbies will find it easier to make friends.

　On the other hand, however, becoming a father with a family may limit your participation in these activities. If you are going back and forth between home and work, and spending time with your family on weekends, your opportunities to meet new people will decrease unless you are actively involved.

　There are also some patterns in the kind of friends you may be looking for: you may want a friend who is the same age as your child, you may want to meet someone older than your child who can give you advice, or you may want to connect with someone who is the same age as you.

　Therefore, using local communities, communities through children such as parent-teacher associations and PTAs, and communities run by non-profit organizations are very effective ways to make dad friends.

　Because of the physical proximity of these communities, it is easier to meet people more often and to get to know the dads you are looking for.

　Local communities, such as the Meguro Papa Network (Meguro Papa Network) for fathers in Meguro Ward and the Nerima Ikumen Papa Project (Neri Papa Project) for fathers in Nerima Ward, are voluntary communities run mainly by fathers in the community. The Neri Dad Project is a community run voluntarily by fathers in the local community.

　These communities may find it interesting to look at flyers posted at local community centers, children’s centers, and bulletin boards around town.
By simply taking in this kind of information, we can find the seeds for making friends in our daily lives, which we have been doing without thinking about it.

My own parenting values as seen through having a dad friend.

　I have made dad friends who have broadened my own values about parenting.

　For example, what you tell your children is good for them may be told to them that it is not good for other families, and by having them share their reasons, you will have more options to consider such a way of thinking.

　If you do not make decisions based on a variety of options, you will instill biased values in your child. I think that by being in contact with a variety of families and getting a lot of information, we can raise our children in a diverse way.

　I think it will do a lot of good for the children.

　My children, for example, are very good communicators with adults.
This was due to his involvement in the local community and adult gatherings since he was a small child, which gave him the opportunity to talk to many adults, and he now enjoys talking to adults. (Now a high school student)

　Frankly, I think it is very difficult to be active.
It takes time, and some people are not comfortable participating in such activities in the first place.

　However, when parents ask themselves how they want their children to grow up, they should treat their children with many different values and ways of thinking, otherwise it may affect their children’s “way of life.
When you think about it, I think it is a waste to narrow your sense of value because you are not good at something or because it is troublesome.

Different communities have different objectives

　We want to change parenting and approach the world.
For those who are raising children with such a cause, joining a community as large as a non-profit organization will give them a new perspective.

　If you want a friend nearby to talk to, try joining a local community.
Anyway, if you want to make friends with a dad, nowadays you can connect with as many as you want on the Internet.
There are many communities depending on your purpose, so it is important to take the first step.

　For example, when dropping off and picking up children at daycare, add a greeting plus a few words.
Try to learn their child’s name and characteristics and make conversation about them.
I think that alone will change something.

　Unlike a company, I no longer have a title, and I am seen as 00-chan’s “dad,” so I can face people on a level playing field, which I think will lead to my own personal growth.

Sneaking into the local dad community!

　I want to feel free to talk with my dad’s friends when I visit the local children’s center or park.
How does everyone in the community spend time with their children when there are limited places to play in the Corona Disaster?
Having an acquaintance nearby with whom he can confide his concerns is a great relief to Dad.

　We interviewed Mr. Sakai, the representative of Meguro Papa Network (a.k.a. “Meguro Papa”), a community for fathers and children in the Meguro area, as well as Mr. Takeichi and Mr. Sakai, who are active members of the network.

＜Mr. Yuki Sakai, representative of Meguro Papa Network, Inc.

We want to deepen our community connections through activities with friends who can work together in the community.

　Megu Papa has been active since 2014 and currently organizes various events with 14-5 members.
So far, we have held “Papatalk,” where fathers discuss their problems with other fathers, cooking classes for parents and children, and practical learning courses with various lecturers.
We also cooperate with local events (festivals, etc.) and have nearly 50 people attend on many occasions, and we also play a role in connecting the community and the fathers.

　Among them, the Satoyama Farming Experience, which takes place three times a year in Futtsu City, Chiba Prefecture, from rice planting to rice harvesting, has received comments from many participants that it was fun and that they would like to participate again.
It has been a fulfilling experience for me to work with my colleagues while also enjoying myself for the benefit of parents and children in the community.

　It is truly like a “local adult club activity.
It is difficult for an individual to organize such an event, and it is also difficult for a company or other organization to plan such an event.
Megu Papa has received a subsidy from Meguro Ward, and through activities of this scale, we are able to deepen friendships among fathers.

　This year, due to the Corona disaster, we were not able to hold as many events as in previous years, but we are using online calls to hold “Dad Talk” to exchange information with other fathers about how they spend time with their children and how their living and working styles have changed since the Corona disaster.

　By working in a community that is neither a company nor a hobby group, but a community that is close to the community, we have strengthened our interest in the people in our own community, their children, daycare centers, schools, and community events.

　One of the things I have grown up thinking about is what contribution I can make to the upbringing of children in this town.
Many people move to Meguro-ku, and it may be difficult to expand friendships if you are passive.
We would be grateful if Mega Papa’s events and activities could trigger interest in the community and deepen connections among fathers, parents, and children.

It’s helpful to get a how to that I can use tomorrow.

　When I was looking to make papa friends in my neighborhood, Mr. Sakai, whose child goes to the same daycare center, invited me to join Megu Papa.

　My family is dual-income, so I was originally involved in childcare and housework, but the members of Megu Dad are even more active and involved in childcare and housework, which is inspiring. When we were unable to use the park due to the Corona disaster, we were able to exchange information about playgrounds, which is a benefit of a community based in the area.
Regardless of Corona, I can also get information that I can use tomorrow, such as which hospitals are good and which stores are good.

　When joining a new community or trying to make new friends, telling people about your daily life at the beginning will make it easier to find common ground and spark conversation.

　For example, it is easy to resolve aloofness by starting a conversation about which nursery school they attend or which park they often go to.
Mega Papa holds a variety of events. At large events such as rice planting, everyone can share the fun while working toward a single goal, and at smaller events such as “Papa Talk,” dads can share their concerns, bringing them closer to each other quickly.
Each event has its good points, so please feel free to participate first.

Parenting is more fun when you have dad friends.

　I was feeling a lot of anxiety and loneliness in raising a child for the first time, and I wanted to have a dad friend.
My wife found out about Megupapa from a flyer and pushed me to join, which is how I became a Megupapa member.
Many Megu dads, like myself, find out about and join the community through my wife.
Maybe somewhere in my heart I wanted him to make daddy-friends (laughs).

　When I go to the park, I often see scenes of mothers talking amicably with other mothers.
But when dads go to the park with their children, it is difficult for them to talk with the dads around them.
Have all of you dads felt this kind of loneliness at one time or another?

　Joining a local community like MegDad has made my outings with my children even more enjoyable, as I am able to meet dads I know and get excited when I go out with my children, and talk to dads I don’t know.
When I shared my problems with other fathers, I was relieved to find that surprisingly everyone was suffering from the same problems, and I felt more positive.

　Since many of Megu Dad’s activities are centered around dads and their children, it is a good opportunity for them and their children to go out together, and moms appreciate the opportunity to make some time for themselves as well.

Connect with dads at parent-teacher conferences and PTA activities!

　Outside of the voluntary local community, parent-teacher associations and PTAs are opportunities to find dad friends.
Although it is often considered too difficult for fathers to participate, in recent years, the environment in which fathers can easily participate has been gradually expanding.

　We interviewed Makoto Murakami, who serves as a director of the NPO Fathering Japan and works as a class officer and public relations officer at a private junior high school, about how to make dad friends through activities such as PTA and parent-teacher associations.

What are the benefits of having dads participate in the organization?

　The time frame for being involved in children’s activities is shorter than you might think.
In the upper grades of elementary school, children are busy with their own friends and with their own lessons. With this in mind, the period during which it is possible to make friends with dads through their children is not so long.

　We hope that families who currently have preschool or elementary school-aged children will take this into consideration and cherish the time they have now to be involved with their children.

　I am a designer by profession, and I am currently designing a public relations paper to be distributed at junior high schools.
The person who writes the articles for the newsletter is a political reporter by profession, who also writes articles for major media outlets, and is using his or her expertise to get involved in PTA activities and parent-teacher associations.

　Pro bono work, in which people use their professional knowledge and skills to contribute to society, has been attracting attention, and this kind of involvement by fathers in an organization can broaden the scope of the organization’s own activities.

Expand your dad’s circle of friends through your child’s activities.

　Although it has become commonplace for fathers to be involved in childcare, many fathers probably leave parent-teacher conferences and PTA activities to their mothers.
It is very important for couples to be aware of their participation in activities surrounding their children.

　However, many fathers think it is a hurdle to suddenly participate in parent-teacher conferences and PTA activities.
For those who do, for example, since class parent-teacher meetings are basically held after class visits and school events, why not attend the parent-teacher meeting directly after participating in the class visit?

　In my case, my two children were on the soccer team, and this is where I got to know other dads and expand my circle of friends.
There are many areas where parents intervene, such as setting up and distributing cars at the games, which inevitably increases the opportunities for dads to interact with other dads.
I was also able to talk more often not only with my own children but also with other children and use this as an opportunity to communicate with other fathers.
In many cases, the fathers there are involved in PTA activities and fathers’ associations, so it is a good idea to talk to them.

　In recent years, with the increase in the number of dual-earner families, there has been a movement to hold parent-teacher conferences and PTA meetings on weekends, which used to be held on weekdays, making it easier for not only working mothers but also fathers to participate.
Why not participate in these activities to build connections among parents and to help all parents think about how their children can grow up healthy in the community?

Finding friends with whom you can share the joys and struggles of being a father will lead to the growth of your children and yourself.
It takes a bit of courage to join a new community, but I believe that by taking the first step, we can enjoy our dads more.