Table of Contents
- Parenting Manga “Let’s Rely on Grandpa”
- Raising a family together! Grandma and grandpa are on mom and dad’s side
Parenting Manga “Let’s Rely on Grandpa”
Profile
Eiichi
After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who creates animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.
Raising a family together! Grandma and grandpa are on mom and dad’s side
It is a challenge for working couples to juggle childcare, housework, and work all at the same time.
Many people have neither the time nor the inclination to do so.
At such times, grandparents are the ones we can count on.
Support from senior people in life is really appreciated.
But on the other hand, Mom and Dad can be too dependent on Grandma and Grandpa,
There are not a few troubles, such as conflicting opinions over childcare.
To be a strong ally for grandparents,
We have compiled a list of things for moms and dads to keep in mind.
What do fathers actually appreciate what their uncles and grandparents do for them? What kind of things do they find a little troubling? We asked some of the fathers who came to Hibiya on weekends with their children.
A problem for busy working couples who have to take care of their children for two weeks during spring break is long vacations for their children. It would be really helpful to be able to take care of them during this period.
I really appreciate the cooking support because it is a daily thing that makes me make a lot of side dishes. Also, this is delicious and the kids love it!
We have a lot of grandchildren, so the grandparents’ house is always
perfectly stocked with diapers and snacks
always ready to go at any time!
It is really nice to have the peace of mind that we can manage to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house.
Buying too many sparkly clothes
It’s not likely that Grandma and Grandpa’s tastes and Mom and Dad’s tastes are exactly the same, so this could happen.
Treat your shy daughter every
time you see her with all your might, and if you only see her once in a while, your child may be distant at first. This is even more so with a shy child.
They buy what they need, and I’m really glad that they buy a variety of things that mom and dad have to worry about buying, but I’m a little sad that mom and dad won’t be able to go out and buy things.
In some aspects, only senior childcare providers have the ability to provide support,
There seems to be an aspect of excessive affection that can become a bit excessive.
To Enjoy Three Generations of Child Rearing
Three points to keep in mind
So, what should we pay attention to in order to get along well with grandparents? We asked Ms. Akiko Boda, the director of NPO Sun Raising Nippon, who has conducted seminars for grandparents throughout Japan and has seen various cases of three-generation child-rearing, to share some pointers.
Point 1.
Cherish the chance for fathers to take care of their children.
In Japan, there are a great many cases where grandmothers take care of mothers immediately after giving birth. This is true for home births, and there are also grandmothers who come from their hometowns and stay overnight to care for the mothers.
While this can be very helpful for mom, there is a downside. By having mom and grandma do all of the childcare, it takes away the chance for dad to gain experience in childcare. Dad will not be able to develop his child-rearing skills and will then have a harder time getting involved in child-rearing.
Do not raise the child by mom and grandma alone, but have dad participate from the start. This will lead to childcare in which everyone participates. However, fathers may not be familiar with childcare at first. Grandmothers should teach such fathers how to take care of their children and support their participation in child rearing. I hope that you will watch over not only your grandchildren and mothers, but also over your fathers.
Point 2.
Decide as a couple what to ask for.
We understand that working couples do not have a lot of time, but we do not want to ask grandparents to do everything for us. It puts a strain on grandparents’ bodies, and it can also reduce their motivation. This can lead to trouble.
To avoid this situation, it is important for couples to discuss and decide what they will do by themselves and what they will ask their grandparents to do for them before relying on grandparents. Then, make sure to explain this to grandma/grandpa.
This way, it is less likely that differences with grandparents will occur. In addition, since the couple discusses and shares the policy at the beginning, it is easier for the couple to discuss any differences that may arise, and it is less likely to develop into a major problem.
Point 3.
Dad acts as an intermediary.
Because of the different times between the grandparents’ generation and the parents’ generation, values and common sense regarding child rearing may differ. There are also differences in the way they treat each other because of their different positions. Because of this gap, there are troubles that can lead to conflicts between parents and grandparents.
In particular, when a mother is solely in charge of dealing with grandparents, it can be a big burden for her and often leads to trouble. Often, there are differences of opinion and conflicts over such issues as how to do household chores, educational policies, and what to do when the child gets sick.
It is at these times that it is important to have a father who can come between the two and listen to what is being said. Dad’s active involvement leads to smooth communication between the couple and grandparents.
Grandma and Grandpa’s
Children love handmade toys!
Grandparents, who are the seniors in child-rearing, are also the seniors in play, having created a variety of games in an age when there were no video games or smartphones. Playing with such grandparents is sure to be a fresh experience for children. We interviewed Yasutaka Awaji, 83, of Doyu Bunka Kenkyu Kobo, who teaches how to play with handmade toys at children’s centers and elementary schools, about three-generation play.
There are many parents who would like to play with their children but cannot find the time. If this is the case, please call on your grandparents. Grandparents who have finished their work and child rearing have more time to spend with their children, so they can spend as much time as they want with them. This is fun for grandparents too.
Over the years, I have passed on many kinds of games to children, and even today’s children are fascinated when we play the games we enjoyed in the past. It could be playing Otedama, Ayatori or Shogi, which grandma and grandpa used to be very good at. It is new to children who have never played it before.
Some moms and dads may have never played the old games or are not very good at them. In such cases, we encourage moms and dads to play with their children together with their grandparents.
It’s important to play with them, not teach them.
My advice to grandparents is not to try to teach their children. If you try to teach them, you will be pushy and your children will become defensive. Just have fun with them. The important thing is to show your children that you are into it. If you do that, children will come up to you and say, “That looks interesting. This was true in the past, and it remains true today.
I think that when we were children, our grandparents thought about how to play with things that were around us, and they played with their own ingenuity.
Awaji-san recommends handmade toys “Matsukaze sesame” and “Panda hitting cymbals.
This is a classic toy in which a string is threaded through a board and the board is turned like a top by pulling on the string. It is also known as “bunbun sesame,” but according to Mr. Awaji, an old document describes the sound of the “bunbun” when turning it as the sound of the wind blowing through a pine forest by the sea, giving it the elegant name “Matsukaze sesame (pine wind sesame).
It is easy to make. Simply drill two holes in a thin board (or cardboard, etc.), thread a 1 meter length of takoyo (octopus thread) through the holes, and tie it together.
Then, holding the string with both hands, twist the string and pull it to both sides while spinning the board. The board then spins noisily. The key is to pull and loosen the thread as you spin the board, but the timing of when to pull is important.
One of the paper crafts. A panda drawn on paper moves like hitting a cymbal.
Let me show you how to make it. First, cut out a piece of paper in the shape of a panda. The key is to fold the chest and arms. The blue line in the photo below is the valley fold, and the red line is the mountain fold. Then, tape the disposable chopsticks through the straw to the back of the panda. The key is to stick the disposable chopsticks on the head part and the straw on the body part (not the disposable chopsticks). When you move the disposable chopsticks on the straw side, the folded part of the paper expands and contracts, making it move like a panda hitting a cymbal. Adjust the folded part of the chest so that the cymbal part just touches it when you pull the disposable chopsticks.
Both can be easily made at home, so please try making and playing with Mom and Dad or Grandma and Grandpa!
