Table of Contents

• Parenting Manga “Growth Record on SNS”
• Share the joys and worries of childcare with your friends! How to use social networking services for fathers

Parenting Manga “Growth Record on SNS”

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After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who produces animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.

Share the joys and worries of childcare with your friends! How to use social networking services for fathers

Let’s look at some examples of SNS use.

We asked two fathers who actually use social networking services for housework and childcare how they use them!

Mr. Ota.

　I use social networking sites to gather information about the problems I am currently facing. Recently, I have been using Twitter to search for words such as “cuddle strap recommended” or “child sleep training” with about two words in a row to gather information and apply it to my own child-rearing.
I also follow a prominent father influencer, and when I saw him send out a message that if I put him to sleep while holding him with a balance ball, he would fall asleep right away, I tried to incorporate this into my own routine.

　One very nice thing about social networking is that it allows us to discuss and communicate about similar problems with strangers who are far away from us.
In addition, my wife and I used to try our best to do housework and childcare perfectly, but as we saw various people’s childcare and housework on social networking sites, we thought, “Let’s relax more and take things at our own pace. It’s okay not to aim for perfection. I have come to think, “I don’t have to aim for perfection.

Ige.

　I search the Internet for emergencies, such as when my child is injured or sick, or when I want to know how-to information on housework and childcare, but I use SNS searches when I want to know the real voices of people in similar situations or the most recent topics. Recently, I gathered information by researching “marital quarrels” and “children’s picture books.

　In addition, in some cases, other fathers are also struggling with the same problems that I am, so I try to communicate the problems that I have solved so that many fathers can benefit from my solutions.
When I took childcare leave, I sent out a message about how to take childcare leave and the system, and many people who did not know about it said that it was helpful, which made me feel glad that I sent out the message.

　On the other hand, social networking sites can also run the risk of flaming, depending on how they express themselves. I think we also need to be careful not to speak in a definitive manner when transmitting information.

Sneak into Dad’s online community!

　Papa Ikumi Commu” is an online community established through social networking services.
Many fathers in their 20s and 30s participate, and it seems that various problems and consultations regarding childcare are exchanged day and night.
For this interview, we asked the founder, Shikagorilla, how the online community activities are affecting fathers’ housework and childcare.

Discuss your dad’s problems on social networking sites!

　When I became a dad and took maternity leave in 2019, there were few people around me who had taken the same maternity leave as I did, making it difficult for dads to interact with other dads at local parks, children’s centers, and community centers.
For this reason, I was hoping to make friends more easily and closer to home.

　So, when I was looking for a way to connect dads on social networking sites, I named a group of dad friends I had connected with on Twitter “Papaiku Commu” and started sending out messages with hashtags such as “#Daddyiku” and “#Daddy Tomo”. I decided to make it a full-fledged community and launched it in June 2020 after the Corona disaster.

　Initially, conversations were conducted through the group function of Twitter, but gradually even deeper communication began to take place through the chat tool slack, and through Zoom, which is held every Saturday after the children are put to bed.

　There, communication takes place on a daily basis, with advice on problems and case studies flying back and forth.
For example, “The doctor told me this about breastfeeding after the bath, what do you do?” We value the exchange of information so that those who participate will be able to look forward to child-rearing and housework.
Sometimes anxiety and conflict are also mentioned. It is a place where everyone expresses their desire to share their joys and sorrows and participate in childcare and household chores.

(Actual community talk scene)

What makes an online community unique?

　In the case of real communities, it is very useful in gathering local information because you can get to know people in the same area. The beauty of real life is that we can show each other what our children look like, and there is communication that comes from this. In contrast, online, it is one of the easiest places to talk about private matters.

　Online, you can talk about things that you might be reluctant to talk about locally because you don’t want rumors to spread.
Another advantage of online is that the hurdles to getting to know each other are low, and people in the same situation can talk to each other, making it easier to become close.

　There are some things to watch out for in online interactions.
Because everyone has their own child-rearing values, there is a lot of cross-pollination of ideas in the community.
Therefore, it is not a good attitude to only state what you want to argue and not respect the other party’s ideas.
I think it is important in dealing with many people to avoid thinking “this is the right answer” when communicating one’s thoughts.

The Papa community is hope!

　When you are raising a child, you may feel anxious, “Am I the only one suffering from this?” However, when you join an online community, you will find that you feel less lonely and anxious because you can share your concerns with others who have the same problems and have real-time access to information about many families.
Some people describe Papaiku Commu as a third place. I hear people say that it is a third place where they can be active outside of home and work, and where they can learn about life.

　There is still a situation in which women are still responsible for much of the housework and childcare and bear the burden.
However, a community has sprung up through SNS and other means, and fathers are gradually making friends with other fathers and actively engaging in housework and childcare.
I feel that this could be one force for change in Japan.
I hope that community activities like this will expand so that both fathers and mothers can share ideas and enjoy housework and childcare with vigor and vitality.

Know the risks of social networking and use it well!

　While social networking sites are a great way to connect with people you would not normally meet, they are also risky from the standpoint of privacy.
We asked IT journalist Akiko Takahashi about the precautions that parents should take when using social networking services.

Social networking risks you need to know about

　Many parents post photos and videos of their children on social networking sites, but be aware of the risks of social networking before posting.

　First is the risk of children being involved in crime.
Photographs of events such as entrance ceremonies and graduation ceremonies can be used to identify the user’s residence, and malicious people can ambush and kidnap the user.

　Second is the risk of misuse by a third party.
The term “digital kidnapping” has recently been coined, and there have been cases of photographs being appropriated without permission and misused for child pornography.

　Finally, there is the risk of affecting the child’s future.
In some cases, when children grew up, they were bullied by their friends because of pictures of potty training that their parents had posted in the past.
Consider that the information you post online is essentially permanent.
It is possible that photos and information about your children that you have posted in the past could affect their future schooling, employment, marriage, etc.

　Please be aware that you should not post photos that your children may find offensive or detrimental in the future.

Let’s use social networking based on risk.

　To protect children from such risks, we recommend that social networking sites be used without disclosing their real names.
If you have a unique name, a search will often pinpoint your name and identify your personal information.

　Also, when submitting photos, make sure that the child’s face is not obscured and that there is nothing in the background that could be used to identify personal information.
It is safer not to post photos that show a specific location, since the location of your home can be narrowed down not only by the name of the station or park, but also by local spots such as a favorite restaurant or neighborhood park.
Also, be careful with icons on messaging applications, as the “I may know you” message may reveal information to someone you do not originally know, and the icon image showing the child may be misused.

　Limiting the scope of public disclosure to acquaintances is also effective, but acquaintances may use screenshots to share even with strangers.
In addition, there are an increasing number of cases of dads, moms, and grandparents posting photos and names of their children on social networking sites without their permission.

　Since some of these problems can occur without the knowledge of the moms and dads, it is important to tell those around you to be careful in handling children’s photos. Although there are risks associated with social networking, I think there are also benefits, such as being able to relax by sympathizing with others, and being able to tell distant relatives and acquaintances about the growth of your family. Understand the risks of social networking and use it well.

It seems that social networking sites have created connections among fathers, leading to positive housework and childcare.
With the Corona disaster making it harder to interact in real life, why not use social networking to find fellow dads?