Tips for parents to prevent “overworking

Smoothing the Timing of the Hardest Time to Return to Work
A survey conducted by the Tokyo Metropolitan Government found that the rate of men taking childcare leave is increasing every year. In particular, among fathers of 0-year-olds, the rate of taking childcare leave is about 65%, of which about 33% have taken childcare leave for more than one month, and both the rate and the duration of childcare leave are increasing for those who have recently become fathers.

From the “Men’s Housework and Childcare Survey 2025 Report.

　Around me, I frequently hear stories of fathers taking childcare jobs. On the other hand, what many people find most difficult is the timing of their return to work. In many cases, couples find that there is a big gap as both parents suddenly have to balance work and child rearing after having both been working at the same time and devoting themselves to child rearing together. In addition, when it is difficult for both of them to work full time, many fathers who return to work first tend to resume their normal work schedule while mothers who return to work later choose to work shorter hours. As a result, we often hear from mothers that they experience stress and conflict.
If possible, it is important for couples to discuss not only the timing of returning to work, but also how they will work after returning to work, even while they are still pregnant. It may be difficult to imagine what will happen after childcare before the birth of the baby, but even a small amount of time spent discussing the issue will provide a good opportunity for both parties to think about how they will take care of their child and how they will spend their time during the childcare period.
　Also, a short time after the birth, it is recommended that the couple take turns setting aside a day to experience housework and childcare on their own. This will give each of you the ability to handle housework and childcare on your own, and will also help you prepare for preschool. Since the standards for housework and childcare vary depending on who is in charge, it is recommended that fathers also be able to handle housework and childcare in their own way. Even if mom returns to work first, dad can still afford to take care of childcare.

Take a step away from “doing housework and childcare hard.”
According to a survey, on average, moms and dads had about two hours of free time on weekdays. In order to secure more time for yourself, it is recommended that you let go of “perfecting” housework and childcare and aim for “tekitori” (appropriate). Although we tend to focus on how to share housework and childcare, I think it is important to first review the standards for housework and childcare themselves and expand the scope of what both parties can compromise on.
　For example, in our home, we have completely given up on keeping rooms tidy at all times and folding all laundry. However, some people may feel stressed if their rooms are messy, so it is important for couples to discuss this thoroughly. Take a step away from “working hard” on each other’s chores and childcare, and consider whether each task is really necessary. For example, if you want your child to eat food made from dashi (soup stock), you can spend more time on that, and your own values and way of life will become clearer. I think this will help you to clarify your own values and way of life.

From the “Men’s Housework and Childcare Survey 2025 Report.

The two most important things to protect are “sleep” and “couple conversations.”
This survey found that many moms and dads are sleep deprived. This is especially important. Mental disorders such as postpartum depression are common among men as well as women, and lack of sleep is considered to be one of the major factors. Although we tend to be busy with work, housework, and childcare, it is important to increase the amount of sleep we get first.

From the “Men’s Housework and Childcare Survey 2025 Report.

　In addition, having even 10-15 minutes every day to talk as a couple will give you more time to be with each other and make it easier to say “thank you” to each other. On days off from work, most of us spend time with our families, but we should also be conscious of making time for just the two of us as a couple. It can be a meal, a hobby, or even a short time at a café. It is better to make time for you and your spouse even if you have to leave your child with grandparents, a babysitter, or temporary childcare, and recently the number of municipalities where temporary childcare is available for the purpose of refreshment has been increasing. Before children were born, they should have been supportive of each other’s lives and careers. It is important to properly maintain the relationship as partners, not just as father and mother. I hope that you will value the time you spend sleeping and the conversations you have as a couple.

A society where fatherhood support is the norm.

From fathers who “work hard” alone to fathers who “rely” on others
I have the impression that many fathers of my generation or of a similar age were raised with the value system that “this is how a man should be. Even after they become adults, these stereotypes often influence them to not feel comfortable speaking out during child-rearing, and they often end up feeling alone in the process. I think it is important for society as a whole to change this situation and create a system that supports fathers so that they can more easily get help from those around them. If there is a place where fathers can provide practical knowledge and experiences, such as “tips on how to take good pictures of your child with a smartphone” or “muscle training for fun with children,” men will be more likely to participate, and they will naturally feel more comfortable talking about their child-rearing concerns.

Dads can also fall ill after childbirth or during childcare.
These days, the image of the father who takes everything for granted is often put forth, but many men lose their connection to society when they suddenly enter childcare, and their physical and mental balance can be affected by career anxiety and lack of sleep. It is necessary for the fathers of the world to be more aware of the health risks that can occur to men as well. To this end, it is important to promote and raise awareness. Until now, it has been assumed that women are mainly responsible for raising children, and support from the national and local governments has been provided from this perspective. In the future, I think it is important to change the thinking of those who provide support, and to change to a society in which it is natural for fathers to be the target of support as well.

Value your own happiness
I want parents to value their own happiness first and foremost – this is my personal desire and the basic concept of the Daddy Support Association that we have established. Many people become parents and, due to the expectations and pressures of those around them, end up sacrificing their own time and careers in order to give priority only to their children.
　However, if you are not healthy and content, it will be difficult to treat your partner and children with peace of mind. I would like you to think about how you can fulfill yourself first and foremost, and to get away from stereotypes such as “this is how child-rearing should be done. This may be time alone to enjoy a hobby or a leisurely talk with your spouse. I hope that before you become a parent, you will first of all value enjoying your daily life as a human being.

Tokyo Metropolitan Government, “Survey on Men’s Housework and Childcare 2025”
https://www.seikatubunka.metro.tokyo.lg.jp/danjo/wlb_top/0000001374/R7chosa