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Survey of Men’s Housework and Childcare 2023
Part 3: Keys to Increasing Marital Satisfaction

Survey of Men's Housework and Childrearing 2023] Part 3: Keys to Increasing Couple Satisfaction

The Tokyo Metropolitan Government conducted a survey of 5,000 men and women living in Tokyo regarding housework and childcare. With the cooperation of experts, we have unraveled the differences in awareness and true feelings between men and women regarding housework and childcare, as well as the actual state of childcare. We will send you this report in three parts, along with a few words of advice that you can start using today!
The third issue will focus on the importance of increasing satisfaction with the division of housework and childcare, as well as marital harmony.



5. division of household chores and childcare

(1) What is important is “communication” and “gratitude.
Q. What do you think is important to increase satisfaction with the division of household chores and child care among married couples?

What do you think is important to increase satisfaction with the division of housework and childcare between husband and wife? Chart

To increase satisfaction with the division of housework and childcare between husband and wife, both fathers and mothers indicated that it is important to “discuss and cooperate” and “express gratitude to each other. However, when asked if they have sufficient communication as a couple, unfortunately only half of the respondents felt that way. We know in our heads that it is important, so now we just need to put it into action!

Q. Do you think you have adequate communication with your spouse regarding housework and childcare?

Do you think you have adequate communication with your spouse regarding housework and childcare? Graph

(2) Communicate your gratitude to each other and enjoy a pleasant housework and childcare experience.

When we asked the fathers and mothers about their partner’s helpfulness and daily thoughts regarding housework and childcare, we gathered a lot of gratitude and respect.

Gratitude from Mom

  • I am grateful and happy that they take the initiative to do the housework on weekends because I can’t do it on weekdays due to work.
  • They are very helpful because they do it on their own. I appreciate that they do it without making me feel bad about it.
  • I appreciate the fact that he is actively involved in housework and childcare and prioritizes time with his family above all else.
  • I am glad that he doesn’t work overtime and runs and goes straight home. I know the kids love their dad because he spends so much time with them.
  • I’m always happy to cook on the weekends!
  • I really appreciate that on weekends and holidays you play outside with the kids to give me some alone time.
  • I’m glad you always say “thank you.”


Gratitude from Dad

  • Just thank you for everything!
  • I am thankful every day!
  • I’m always left to my own devices and I can’t get my head around it.
  • I can’t do it alone, so please don’t hold me back.
  • They take the initiative to do the details that I don’t notice.
  • I have great respect for the fact that you always put the child first!
  • They make you work hard at your job.



Images of Kawayanagi

*Created based on feedback from moms and dads in the Fact-Finding Survey


Q. Do you think the couple is close?

Do you think the couple gets along well? Graph

When asked “Do you think the couple gets along well?” more than 60% of the respondents answered “well” or “somewhat well! It is clear that they respect and approve of each other, even though they may complain or complain.
We received many heartwarming and beautiful words of gratitude from moms and dads. It would be nice if we could actively express our gratitude to them instead of keeping it bottled up inside for the sake of marital happiness. It may be a little embarrassing, but why don’t you start expressing your daily gratitude today?



Tsuneko Takaso's image Busy couples make a conscious effort to make time for each other! Positive words abound in the home.

While it is important to take time for housework and childcare, it is even more important to ensure that the couple has proper time for communication. Daily conversations such as, “Haven’t you washed the dishes yet?” or “Please pick me up! or “Please pick me up from school!”, it can be a bit of a deadly situation. Try to consciously make time to talk about the future of your family and how you can have a good time together, such as “When the kids grow up, I want to go to this place” or “I want to talk about our respective careers. If you don’t make a conscious effort to do so, the days will pass by quickly. And when you are straightforward about the good things about each other and how much you appreciate each other, and when your home is filled with positive words, it will have a positive impact on your children as well. I hope the home becomes an empowering space for the whole family! I hope that the results of this survey will inspire you to change your thinking and behavior by asking yourself what it is like in your own home.


Image of Shintaro Yamaguchi Male childcare is good for both the family and society!

Men raising children is still a relatively recent phenomenon worldwide, and in all countries the duration is shorter than for women. But what we have found in the research world is that the results are much more positive than people think. I think that male child rearing is one of the most underrated of all family policies. In this day and age, I think the difficulty of having children is overemphasized, but having children also means gaining a joy that is incomparable to anything else. For me personally, it has made me wonder, “Why did I work so hard all this time?” My sense of value has changed 180 degrees. There is no doubt that it is hard work, but I would like people to be more bold and take the plunge into having children. The systems related to childcare are getting better and better, and the people around you are much more supportive than you think. The secret to a happy marriage is to start the same way with planned childcare! I hope that you will cooperate with each other as you go about your childcare and household chores.


Manga 3Manga 4
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We have introduced the results of the “Men’s Housework and Childcare Survey 2023” three times. All survey results are available here. Please check them out!



Survey period: July 31-August 21, 2023
Target: 5,000 people (2,500 men and 2,500 women each) living in Tokyo Target 1 Child-rearing generation…4,000 men and women with preschool children (2,000 men and 2,000 women each) Target 2 All generations…1,000 men and women aged 18 to 69 (500 men and 500 women each)