Table of Contents
- Parenting Manga “Why Mom’s in a Bad Mood “
- Why isn’t my mom happy when I do the housework?” Proactive housework makes everyone in the family happy!
Parenting manga “Why Mom’s in a Bad Mood”
Profile
Eiichi
After working for a design company in Tokyo, he became a freelance illustrator. He is a hard-working father who creates animation, manga, and illustrations, including winning the Yubari International Fantastic Film Festival’s International Short Film Showcase Division Excellence in Animation Award.
Why isn’t Mom happy when I do the housework?” Proactive housework makes everyone in the family happy!
A mom who seems somewhat dissatisfied with the chores she has been asked to do.
Why is it that you are doing what you are told to do? Do you ever feel like you are not doing what you are supposed to be doing?
The reason for this is that dads are not “proactive” in their housework, but rather in the sense of “helping”,
Perhaps it is because they are doing “only what they are told when they are told.”
This time,
Both moms and dads themselves can be happy,
We will explore hints for “proactive housework!
Why isn’t my mom happy when I do the housework?” Proactive housework makes everyone in the family happy!
We interviewed Ms. Yuko Kumei, the representative of “Home to Work” and a lecturer on housework and child-rearing nationwide, about how to enable fathers to take the initiative in housework and what benefits this can bring.
What exactly do I need to do to be able to do housework proactively?
■Share the whole picture of your household chores.
First, it is important to identify what tasks are involved and understand the big picture of housework.
In doing so, we recommend using the following sheet. Of course, the types of household chores differ from household to household. Therefore, we suggest that you and your spouse create your own sheet for sharing household chores, using this sheet as an example only.
Once you have identified the chores, now write the names of Mom and Dad at the top of the cells, and circle and analyze which of them is currently performing each task. Is the circling biased toward one of you? Visualization is very important because it can be a good opportunity to notice chores that you are not doing on a regular basis.
■ Let’s share our “vision of the future of the family!
The “family vision” can also be called “goal setting. Think about what kind of home you would like to have and share it with your spouse. Thinking about how you can contribute to that goal will help you think about what you should proactively do.
For example, let’s say you set a goal of having a happy home where you can easily invite your friends over and have a good time. What can you do to achieve that goal? You can see what you need to do, such as keeping the entrance clean or tidying up the living room in order to invite your friends over.
■Review the division of roles!
Using the “Housework Assignment Sheet” mentioned earlier, let’s discuss and review the division of roles as a couple. Depending on the task, there may be times when responsibilities change depending on the day of the week, etc. However, it is important to make the division of responsibilities as clear as possible without being vague.
■ “Thank you” rather than “no,” will improve dad’s housework skills!
It is important for moms not to ruin it if dad leaves it to dad.
I think one of the reasons that dads are having a hard time taking the initiative in housework is because they lack confidence in their own housework.
In fact, when we conduct housework classes for men, we find that not a few of them cry with happiness when we praise young fathers. Apparently, the reason for this is that they are never praised for the housework they usually do, even though they work hard at it, and on the contrary, they are told no by their mothers.
The important thing is to thank them first, even if it is not satisfactory from your mom’s point of view. Say “thank you” with a smile, not for the result, but for what you did. This will become a big engine for dad. Hold back the urge to point out what he didn’t do, and instead say, “Dad, that was very helpful. Thank you.” This is the key to developing your father’s motivation and skills.
■Thank you for the catch!
Thank you is like a “mirror”.
If Dad feels that he is not getting many “thank yous” from Mom, then he may not be saying “thank you” to her either. Ideally, couples should be able to catch more “thank yous” with a smile. If the perception of housework can be changed from being something that is hard to do to something that gives us a chance to say “thank you” to each other, we will both be happy.
What are the advantages of men taking the initiative in housework?
■Help improve job skills
Don’t get me wrong, housework improves work capacity.
For example, managing the contents of a refrigerator requires planning based on several days’ worth of menus and taking care of expiration dates, which is similar to the management of business operations. In addition, the same is true for housework and work, where a team (husband and wife) must share and cooperate to complete tasks in a limited amount of time.
I believe that management skills, efficiency, cooperation, and the ability to see ahead are all essential for success in the workplace, and can be gained through housework.
■No need to worry when mom is away.
It is possible for a mother to fall ill and be out of bed for several days, or to be away from home for an extended period of time due to a business trip, etc. At such times, not only the father himself but also his children may be in trouble. At such times, if a father says, “I have never done laundry before and I don’t know how to do it,” or “I leave the cooking to my wife and can’t do anything…,” not only the father himself but also his children will be in trouble. If he does his chores on a regular basis, he will not be at a loss when the time comes.
■Never lose the love of your wife.
One of the characteristics of mature-aged divorces, which has become increasingly rare in recent years, is that there is a significant difference in perception between husbands and wives. In many cases, the wife’s side has taken a long time to reach a conclusion, while the husband’s side is truly “blue sky” in many cases.
The dividing line between whether a wife loses affection for her husband or not may be whether he has taken the initiative in housework and childcare.
This Corona disaster has advanced telework, but the reaction of wives around the world is polarized between “it’s great that my husband is home all day” and “it’s hard that my husband is home all day. It can also be expressed as a polarization of like it or dislike it, and it is important to understand that which way the needle swings “depends on what the husband does on a daily basis.
■Positive impact on children’s growth
As far as I have observed, when your daughter reaches puberty, she will still be saying “I love you, Daddy!” and “I hate daddy! In many cases, they seem to be divided into the two extremes of “I love daddy! I feel that whether or not dad made mom smile or made her struggle has a big impact.
Also, if the son grows up seeing his father doing housework, he will grow up to be a man who can do housework. This will also lead to a good cycle in which the son will be loved by his partner and will be able to build a happy family.
The “Way to Happiness” for Fathers and Families
Housework can be an important tool for saying “thank you” to each other. When couples say “thank you” to each other through housework, there are many benefits. It improves marital harmony and has a positive effect on the children. It also leads to happiness for the father himself and his family.
There is no need to aim for perfection. Above all, we would be happy if you could tackle household chores in a fun and positive manner.
